I am writing to you from Mysore, India where I on my annual study trip at The Ashtanga Institute. I find this trip so beneficial. not only do I have the chance to study with one of the most amazing teachers in the world but it also gives me a chance to reflect on myself and what this practice means to me on a deeper level.
I spend so much time on my own here. I live on my own, eat most meals on my own, make all decisions on my own, find my own house, scooter etc. In this place I need to be completely confident in myself in order to get things done. So often things go wrong - in fact, in india I am almost guaranteed that things won’t go to plan! I need to trust that everything that is meant to be happening is happening and be confident and relaxed with that.
The same applies in the practice. Always in my first week I feel a lack of confidence in my practice. I always worry that my teacher will not think I am good enough, that other people in the room might be better than me, and then of course, I feel fear when my teacher gives me new poses that I cannot do them. I start to question myself.
Of course, these thoughts are just a reflection of how I see myself. How we all see ourselves. We all have fears. Someone in the room must be looking at my practice and having the same doubts about their own.
The only thing we have to remember is that everything that is meant to be happening, on and off the mat is meant to be happening and will, in some way, strengthen our confidence.
Until next time...
Peace, Love & Yoga